If you can’t give it up, you don’t own it. It owns you.
This line from Jefferson Bethke has blown me away. I’ve been binge-watching his videos about Christianity on youtube and in one of his videos entitled Counterfeit Gods (please please watch it), he mentioned that we all worship a certain god – material possession, sexual desires, a person, standards of society – which ultimately dictates our actions.
It made so much sense
and resonated with me (and hopefully in you as well) because at some point in
my life, I slowly put my worth and my identity in my past relationship. I
thought I had solid faith and values but I found myself in compromising situations.
I invested too much too soon and in no time, the relationship became my source
of validation. Even the thought of losing it made me wallow in tears. I knew
that our relationship wasn’t leading me closer to Jesus because we would allow
ourselves to be tempted, to give room for sins, to entertain our lust for each
other; yet I ignored these signs. Because I was naïve enough to think that
loving each other is having lust for each other. And maybe that is partly true.
But it doesn’t have to be the entirety of it. Because now I know that true
and pure love frees you from sin. True love protects you from them. True love
will never ever compromise your values.
For years, I have held
on to the belief that sex should be inside the covenant of marriage. That it is
safest in the context of marriage. But I had some gray areas to the things
lesser than sex. I assumed they were “okay” – the kissing, the necking,
petting, cuddling, and other sexual foreplay. But I knew deep down in my heart
that they were sinful because I let the lust controlled me. I lusted for my
partner. I allowed him to lust over me. I allowed the disrespect both from him
and from myself. And it took me so much strength to detach myself from the
relationship, and even after the breakup, I struggled with these thoughts and
desires.
I anchored my worth to
it that’s why it was so hard for me to let go even though I knew we weren’t
glorifying the Lord in that relationship. Just like the human’s addiction to alcohol,
pornography, masturbation, material possession, power, or whatever it is – if
we make these our gods, they will own us. Our actions, our belief system, our
lives. Perhaps they provide us with fleeting ‘satisfaction’ but never a true and
lasting one. Because these things are broken, imperfect and sinful. These
gods never took nails in their hands and feet and died for us. They did not redeem
us nor gave us an everlasting grace, mercy, and love. But Jesus did. And He
still does. He is the only One who can fill that void inside us.
We live in a time where
premarital sex has become the norm and socially acceptable. It’s getting harder
and harder to talk about it with your group of friends because either you are
deemed as “judgmental” or they simply make fun of you. But if we truly
understand that our worth is in Christ, we will no longer be a slave of sexual
immorality, or the society’s standards or any false god – and it will not be
hard to show real compassion for our brothers and sisters who are also struggling
in this area.
We can reflect on the
story of a woman who committed adultery. Jesus challenged the people and said, “Let
he who is without sin cast the first stone.” And told the woman that He did
not condemn her and said, “Go and sin no more.”
There is so much grace
from God. And I have witnessed it in my life and the lives of the people around me. Now, I gave up those false gods. Does it mean I’m free from temptation?
Does it mean I’m perfect and do not sin anymore? No. But I’m no longer a slave
to them. Because I know my worth. I know my identity. And it is in Christ.
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